What is your why?

What Is Your “WHY” In Life?

Why?

A commonly asked question that any parent hears from their children. I cannot honestly say that I enjoy the question asked by many children. 

‘Why can I not have ice cream for breakfast?’

 ‘Why can I not skip school today?’

 ‘Why aren’t there dinosaurs on the planet anymore?’

 ‘Why is the sky blue?’

‘Why do people get sick?’

‘Why can I not stay up as late as you do?’ ‘Why?’

“Why” is also a question that we are trained NOT to ask people, as it can put some people into a defensive mode.

 ‘Why did you decide to do that?’

 ‘Why did you decide not to do that?’

As you can see, in life, everything has a “why.”

 What is your “why?”

 When I was first asked this, I stumbled on the question. But then the question really settled in. 

What do you believe in, what motivates you, what fuels your everyday actions, what drives you, what are you passionate about, what is your purpose… at home, at work, in the world?

Having and knowing what your “why” is can be powerful.

Like me, some people do not know what there “why” is right off hand. On the contrary, some people just know. When you figure out what that is, you will know. It makes your heart race, your body tingles thinking about it. It provides you a never-ending source of energy, inspiration, and motivation.

But if you’re like me, maybe you just have several things you are passionate about so it can be difficult for you to choose, or maybe you have allowed fear to overpower your dreams.

Your why should be the purpose that will drive you to achieve your goals during both good and bad times; especially during your periods of struggle, or when the going gets tough.

 Keep your why our front and centre as it will provide that motivation that you need to keep going when all you really want to do is give up.

So today I want to discuss my “why.” 

Why did I decide to take my mental health issues seriously? 

Why did I choose to get sober and clean? 

Why did I choose to take care of me? 

Why do I continue to choose me?

My why began with me.

Not for anybody else but myself. I found that I am worth the time. I am worth the effort.

 I am worth the life ahead of me.

I realized that if I wanted unconditional love, I had to love myself unconditionally.

I realized that if I wanted to be accepted for who I truly am, I would have to have the courage to accept myself.

 I realized that if I wish to live a life with value, that I would have to value the life I live.

It is important to realize that your why should always begin with YOU.

 Your greatest love affair is with yourself.

 There is only one person you will have to live with your entire life… yourself.

The one person in which you will always be able to reciprocate love with… yourself.

The one that needs your love more than anyone else in the entire world… yourself.

So many of us give our love so freely to others, but rarely give ourselves the same kind of love.

So many of us are willing to stand up to anyone that criticizes the ones we love, but do not stand up to that little voice inside out own heads that puts ourselves down.

We need to realize that our greatest love affair that we will ever have been with ourselves, and we need to start our why with ourselves.

It is now that we need to build that unconditional loving relationship with ourselves.

 To show ourselves appreciation, to allow and help ourselves to find the enjoyment in life in which we truly desire, and to compliment ourselves instead of putting ourselves down.

When we learn to love ourselves, we find it easier to love others and the world around us. In return, others will find it easier to love us.

When you let yourself really shine, your world will realign.

 It is important to let your TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF SHINE!!!

Share your gifts with the world, and do not let the world tell you that you cannot do so.

Your voice and your beauty from within need to be heard.

 You will suffer criticism, but their opinions do not matter because you have to be you.

By being your true authentic self, you will attract the right people into your life and repel the wrong people. Ultimately, you will want this for yourself because then you will be surrounded by those who love you for you really are.

When it comes to valuing life, value the life you live.

We have been sold on this idea that all the material things define us.

But truth be told, those possessions do not define us.

These “things” do not lead to long-term contentment nor happiness, but often can do the opposite.

We all trade our time for money, which we use to purchase “things.”

 Remember, we are not just spending paper bills, but we are spending our time for these “things.”

I point this out because when we just go buy “things,” we are valuing these purchases as much as or more than the time it took to make the money.

Time which could have been better spent with our loved ones; enjoying life, helping others, or doing what is important to us.

Once we realize that money is our time, we start viewing money a little differently.

 We may start to realize that buying that expensive car is not worth the precious time we would have to sacrifice in order to get it.

We might realize that maybe we do not admire a person’s clothing that they purchased from Gucci.

Instead, we are thinking of all the more meaningful and exciting ways we could spend our time.

We start to value our time more than the unnecessary and superficial purchases that only depreciate in value once purchased.

We start to realize that these “things” do not define us, but our time is worth more than those “things.”

But keep in mind, that it is not only about buying things that we don’t necessarily need.

Our lives are a collection of moments in time.

Where we are spending our time is where we spend our life.

It is almost like having a laser-like focus on what is most important to us. One way or another we are going to spend our time on something.

It is how we spend our time that will make the difference between a good life and an average life.

 Spend YOUR time wisely, spend your time on what is most important to you.

Make sure you are spending your life on ways to ensure you have a good life.

My why also includes my family.

My family deserves a better husband and a better father, a better son, a better brother, and a better uncle.

A sober husband and a sober dad.

A mentally healthy husband and dad.

A happy husband and a sustainably present dad. But how could I be happy for them if I wasn’t happy for myself first?

This goes back to bullet point one where your why should always begin with YOU… from within yourself.

But your WHY doesn’t end at yourself and your family.

Your why goes on to your purpose. 

What do you believe in, what motivates you, what fuels your everyday actions, what drives you, what are you passionate about, what is your purpose… remember?

I see so many people stop at their reasons for doing the things they do, but they don’t ever finish their why.

Why we do things… yes, for ourselves and for our family… but if that is all we are doing it for, then why are we doing it?

Me — my purpose… For the longest time, I thought my purpose was just to provide for my family.

 To just raise my children to be happy and successful. But, in the turn of my spiritual awakening months ago, I learned that my purpose was more than that.

My purpose isn’t fortune, fame, or even financial success though.

I have found that my purpose in life is to have a positive impact on the lives of others through my writing and my experiences and to live a happy and successful life for myself through the midst of recovery and mental illness.

I found that is what drives me.

That is what makes me happy.

That is what motivates me.

That is what fuels my everyday actions.

That is what I am passionate about.

That is what I believe in.

That… is my purpose.

That, combined with myself and my family, is my WHY!